My hubby and I are as different as two people could possibly be. Or at least that is what I tell people when they want to know what my husband is like. I say: “picture the opposite of me. bam, meet my hubster.” We just think so completely different. He is logical, level headed, non-emotional, super clever, and calm. I am emotional, hot headed, creative, and high energy (compared to him). Those differences in us are what makes our relationship work so well. It is our similarities that keep us together. We both Love Jesus, family is so important to us, sarcasm is our language, Adventure is a must and working hard for what we want is the only way to earn it.
When my logical husband and I got married we immediately moved to Windsor, Ontario where he was in the middle of obtaining his dual law degree. Dual, as in he has both his Canadian and American Law degree. (I told you he was clever). As we were setting up house and learning to live with each other a few certain things came up that our 5 years of dating never touched on. It became obvious that I am a dreamer. I am the person who loves to think up amazing new ideas or adventures and verbally plan how to proceed. My sweet man, is more the type to think logically about an idea and not get his hopes up and has very low expectations for dreams (lucky for me… lol.. I think?) He hates the feeling of disappointment so in return he spends a lot of time enjoying the moment he is in instead of dreaming about the moments to come. He truly enjoys life, I would say more than I do. He just soaks in each memory as I lay beside him conjuring up our next one.
Our first home didn’t have a dishwasher. It did not have in-suite laundry and it had only one washroom. When we moved back to Beautiful British Columbia, those were the 3 things we knew we wanted to look for in our next place of residence. Those three things would make life just a little more delightful and would also cause a few less arguments in our marriage. (sink full of dirty dishes overnight, mildew, and hair clippings everywhere… need I say more?)
So my sweet husband, with out list in hand, went and found us the perfect first BC apartment. As we soaked in the fresh clean air that we missed so much and enjoyed the view of our gorgeous mountains on a daily basis, we also enjoyed loading the dishwasher, washing and drying our clothes in our underwear, and the wonderful elbow room of our own washrooms:) As our lives continued and the novelty of our new convenient living place wore off, we noticed that the list we had once had, now seemed to come back from the dead. Now, our list seemed longer. The three things on our list, although answered, were not enough to satisfy our lives. We had now come up with new things that were important and would in return make our lives so much easier.
On our 3 year wedding anniversary I took a test that would change our lives forever. We found out we were going to become parents and a whole new adventure was about to begin. The list took on a whole new life of its own, as now it was all about our baby and what would make life easier. Moving out of our 3rd floor apartment in the ghetto area that we lived in seemed like a must. Elevators, stairs, long hallways, no back yard, safe sidewalks, clean parks, walking distance to shopping, extra bedroom, all these became our priority when it came to looking for a new place.
We found our “list perfect” place and happily brought our baby boy home to it safe and sound. The list turned from house hold “must haves” to what would make my life easier as a mother. Things like; sleep, coffee, jogging stroller, precooked meals, wanted advice, sleep, wrinkle free clothes for the husband, did I mention sleep. As our life changed so did our list. The one thing that did not change was I was still the dreamer and my husband was still the man who soaked up each moment, not worrying about the next.
A few weeks ago, I stood in front of my sons Kindergarten class waiting for the doors to open. His first day of School was right there in front of us. That little boy whom I had dreamed about and spent the past 4 years, 10 months and 2 days praying over and pouring my every ounce of energy into raising. He was about to go to school for the first time. I know that I am not the first mother to have felt these emotions. I was not the first mother to realize that time goes by quickly when it comes to raising children. I know I am not the first mother who sat there with her little baby in the middle of the night and dreamt about all his firsts and what they would be like. I have had a lot of conversations with my mommy friends that started with “can you even imagine what it will be like when……. he takes his first step…. he can play nicely in the next room…. he sleeps through the night….. he goes to school all day long…”
Well, now I am there. All my dreaming and planning is here. Now my dreams are getting bigger and I can not believe I am blessed enough to be living them out. Call me crazy, but one of my dreams I have had was to wake up and make my kids their school lunches. I always felt that if you are a mom who has the blessing of making their kids lunches you have made it in the world. That is what I thought before having children. That is what I thought before I knew how picky kids could be and how much work goes into raising children. But I still feel strongly about this one particular chore. So my list that I had so strongly felt about, had now taken a whole new turn.
I realized that I will never be satisfied, because life is always changing. This, in my opinion, is not a bad thing. This just means that I will always be setting new goals and hopefully reaching them. The list has taken on a whole new purpose tho. Those things on the very first list my husband and I wrote our have not migrated onto a new list with the very impressive name of “punch me out if…” list. Now, I know that name sounds a little violent and crazy but remember at the beginning of this post when I mentioned we are very sarcastic. So, I hope it makes sense now. With this new list it has caused there to be a lot less complaining and it has created a more peaceful and grateful atmosphere at our house. The lists new purpose it to ensure that we do not complain about the things that we had dreamed about and prayed for. Those blessings will not be taken for granted. Not in our house, at least not twice.
Here is what our list looks like:
Punch Me Out if…
- we complain about unloading the dishwasher
- we complain about washing our 3 bathrooms
- we complain about doing laundry (eeekkk.. i may have been “punched” for this one a few times)
- we complain about taking care of our kids
- we complain about making kids lunches
- we complain about mowing our large lawn
- we complain about a family dinner
- we complain about working late
These are all things that were on our dream and prayer list
These were all things we stayed up late talking about how amazing it would be to have in our lives. From living in a small apartment with no yard, to living far away from family. We wanted all these things and each one represents hard work and blessing for both our family and ourselves. Having a Grateful heart helps to create a thankful life and a thankful life is one full of love and joy. We are trying our best to make sure our children know that we wanted them and dreamed of who they would be and there were nights when I yearned to be a mother staying up late cleaning after my children and packing their lunches.
Remembering where you were and how far you’ve come puts perspective on those hard days of mothering, parenting, and marriage.
What would you add to your “Punch me out” list?