Today I started my day grumpy. You know when even before your eyes open you have a headache and find your family annoying. When I was finally convinced to open my eyes it was at my daughter’s request to wipe her brothers bum. As I groggily found my way to the bathroom to aid my son in what seems like my life calling, my husband calls out from our closet asking me where his socks are. Oh this is going to be a good day. I chase my daughter around tripping on laundry baskets, trying to convince her to let me put an elastic in her crazy hair and some clothes on her little naked body. I sit on our bed and try and take a moment to regroup and start my day over. As I am in the middle of convincing myself that it is all my own doing and my own attitude, my husband asks me if I have checked my email. Arg, I am trying to find some peace here! I grab my phone and find myself reading a super discouraging email that only brought me deeper into my funk. Only 10 minutes awake and I already want to go to bed.
This morning of events is unfortunately not an uncommon occurrence around here as we go about our daily lives. Marriage, children and Family are huge blessings but also huge responsibility and have great impacts on our daily lives. There is so much Joy but Joy doesn’t wipe my sons bum or untangle my daughters hair. It certainly doesn’t do my laundry or make dinner.
I helped my husband get out the door to work in one piece and as my children sat eating their breakfast I found myself with some stolen alone time. I sat down at my table and opened my bible. It’s the First day of December and I have been looking forward to starting my Advent Devotional Series which will lead me through to Christmas day. The Verse for Today was Isaiah 9 :2-7
2 The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of deep darkness
a light has dawned.
3 You have enlarged the nation
and increased their joy;
they rejoice before you
as people rejoice at the harvest,
as warriors rejoice
when dividing the plunder.
4 For as in the day of Midian’s defeat,
you have shattered
the yoke that burdens them,
the bar across their shoulders,
the rod of their oppressor.
5 Every warrior’s boot used in battle
and every garment rolled in blood
will be destined for burning,
will be fuel for the fire.
6 For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
7 Of the greatness of his government and peace
there will be no end.
He will reign on David’s throne
and over his kingdom,
establishing and upholding it
with justice and righteousness
from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the Lord Almighty
will accomplish this.
God used this verse in a different way this morning to speak directly to my situation. He reminded me that He had been planning on saving the World for a very long time. He had a plan from the very first time it all went wrong. He was going to send His son to earth to show us how to live and then sacrifice Him so we CAN LIVE with Him in eternity. He had a plan. It took hundreds of Years to fulfill but it was all fulfilled.
As I sat and wrote out my prayer request to the God who has all things already planned out, I thought about what God’s own Mother would have been praying about. What were her prayer requests as she prepared to raise and love and nurture and deliver the Son of God! oh how my list seemed so selfish and unnecessary. I know that God loves me. I know that God wants me to have the desires of my heart, but am I searching for the same thing? Am I searching to have the desires of God’s Heart for me?
The Theme of today’s verse was “Light”. Am I being a good Light? Does my prayer request list represent fully my mission here on earth? Or am I just consumed with making my life “perfect”. As I stared at my list and started to slowly cross things off that I knew God was already working on, I felt my view changing. I know he won’t leave me. I started to change the wording of things and as I changed the list I felt my heart slowly changing as well. By being God focused my list turned from a “Christmas wish list” to a powerful example of How God is going to Show up! A testimony. He will of course take care of my daily needs. He promises that in Matthew 6:28. So why dont I move on and getting deeper with what God wants for my life.
I Picture Mary’s Prayer Requests to look something like this.
- Prepare my heart to raise the Son of God
- Help me to not worry about where I will deliver my baby.
- Help me to have answers to Your Son’s questions
- Help me to let go of my Son and surrender MY will and let Your will be done in my life and in His.
- Keep Him safe as He shares your love with the world.
- Prepare people to Hear Your Son’s Message of Hope and Love.
- Humble me to take no credit and direct it all to YOU.
- Place me in the shadows so Your will WILL be done.
My list did not look so selfless the first time around. Not even the second time around. But I am going to have a little Grace for myself as I find my way.
Just like I have learned that Loving my husband is a daily choice, So is loving God and following His plan for my life. I did not just make a one time decision it is a daily thing. It is something that I should be reminded of each time I need to make an important decision. Sometimes an annoying email or a bad sleep will change my attitude but putting it into perspective should help bring it all back to where my heart is following the maker of the Universe.
I do not mean to belittle the emotions that come with taking care of my family and running a household as well as being a wife and a friend, a sister and a daughter. Those are all important and nothing that a good “Girl’s night Therapy” doesn’t help solve. But when my prayer list only consists of things that God has already promised to take care of, I am only sounding like a spoiled toddler who keeps asking for the same thing after their parents have already answered “Yes”. Finding God’s Heart for my Life and recognizing that He has already planned a perfect plan for my life is something that I am trying to remember daily. Focusing on the Big Picture and giving my problems to Jesus but not dwelling on them is my new motto. Dwelling on the Truths and not the problems, letting the problems go. That is going to be tough for me. But I really believe that is what will benefit me in the End.
So my children are now crawling all over me and I need to end this post.
p.s don’t ever tell your 2 year old that you have a headache. Now she is going around whining that she has a headache. arrr… I will show you what a headache really is little princess!! I already need to re-read this post.