I have shared in previous posts about my son’s arrival two years ago. He was an emergency c-section 6 weeks early due to having Placenta Previa.
Here I am, Days away from having my next baby, full term and hopefully I will have a chance to try naturally.
My emotions are causing me to have a lot of flashbacks on what happened last time, and I am struggling with the concept of having a baby, and I keep thinking if i have to have a c-section it means i am not a real women. I know, I know, lots of people only have c-sections. Did you know that when I had my son, I was told numerous times that I don’t know what it is like to have a baby, or that i will never truly understand being overdue or going into labour. The way i was told made it seem like I was lucky to have a NICU baby, or almost die.
I feel so lost this time, i am trying to make sure I don’t have false expectations that I will for sure be able to try naturally, that there will be no complications, that I will be so happy that I wanted to do a v-back over a planned C-section.
I don’t know what to do, I am lost with my head thinking, oh high blood pressure, which means no contractions, no labour and c-section. OR I will go overdue and they will make me have a c-section because my scar erupts. How do you get yourself out of your head when everyone around me is making birth plans, and my plan is to give birth. thats it. give birth to a healthy baby, be healthy myself. I hear people asking me if I am going to use drugs, or if I want a bathtub in my room. ALL I want is to have a happy, healthy baby.
So here it is, my emotions, on the blog, as I wait for this little owlet to come earth side.