I can't fight this feeling anymore…

This morning I had a major mom moment.

Yesterday was mother’s day, and besides a few VERY thoughtful texts from other family members who are moms, I got bubkiss (richy rich? is this a real word?).

My husband has been having a really rough time with not loving his job and feeling like he is hitting a huge milestone (30, to him this is HUGE), and he has nothing in his personal goals to show for it, besides a beautiful wife, a fun almost 2 year old son and another sweet baby on the way. ANYWAYS, this leads to a very grumpy husband on mother’s day who is having a hard time thinking further than his Goal of having the job of his dreams.

Which leaves me, a mother of two (yes, pro life! haha), taking whatever my son does that is nice a step further and calling it a mother’s day gift.  I know I shouldn’t expect anything from my husband, but its hard not to when i look on Facebook and people are receiving flowers and sentimental cards, chocolates, and having huge posts about how there wife is the best mom in the world. someone i even know received a bike!

Jealousy creeped in but didn’t take over thankfully.  I know that because of my husband’s state i shouldn’t expect anything (but you always secretly do).

Welp, it didn’t happen, no card,  no candy, just an apology, and he said he could buy me something now (8:30pm as an afterthought, Yeah… No)

So this morning (monday) I was reading my devotions, and as I was, my little owlet wanted to sit beside me, and he asked me to “read it”, so as I read the bible to him, he was clapping and talking with me and out of the blue said “Love you”. Pretty much burst into tears.  I almost did again just thinking about this moment. he just sat beside me as a read the chapter than proceeded to grab one of his books, I guess he thought if he listened to mine I would read his haha. while i was reading with him, I just realized how thankful i am to have him in my life no matter what day or state he is in. Its not his fault he doesn’t understand mother’s day, and I also realized i put a lot of pressure on someone who isn’t even my child to give a thoughtful, loving day. A little bit turned around.

happy monday morning to me. I don’t need a day, I am so excited for the lifetime of joys, pains, tears, laughter, teenage angst, and hugs.

– Owl


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