Always my Baby

This evening I was doing our bi-weekly grocery shopping and I shed a tear in the deli aisle. Let me explain myself. As I was telling the Deli guy that I would like 300 grams of the Black forest ham that was on sale, I over heard a mom and her late teen son having a conversation. His mom started off by asking him if he made his “patented Grilled Cheese Sandwich” and if he had made some for his father. They laughed about how His dad only knows how to make Cereal and how the Teen age son will probably follow in his fathers footsteps if Mom doesn’t stop making such delicious meals. They laughed and talked, and I stood there trying (unsuccessfully) hard not to look like I was listening in. My eyes started to tear up as I thought about how one day, God willing, that will be me. I will take my sweet boy with me to the grocery store after picking him up from a friends house after a night of studying or after a basketball practice (fingers crossed). We will talk about his weekend and plans for the coming week. I will know his favorite lunches and which subjects he has a test in that week.

I was quickly brought back to reality when the Deli guy handed me my black forest ham all nicely labeled and said “is that all for you ma’am?”

(Ma’am!!! That is a whole new blog entry right there!!!)

I took my Deli meat and continued on my way, as i left, I heard the mom ask for the exact same order as I did.

My baby boy means so much to me. I can not even explain how much my heart is in love with him. He drives me so incredibly crazy and yet brings me to tears with how much I love him. I do not only love him, I really like him too. He is funny. He is smart. He is strong and super clever. I watch his approach to life and I am inspired. He is 2. Tonight it dawned on me just how much influence I have on his sweet little life.

He relies on my husband and I for every thing. Not only for his physical needs but for his mental and most importantly spiritual needs as well.

As I loaded up my groceries into our van, I placed the eggs in his empty car seat and almost teared up again. I emptied my cart and climbed into my quiet van and started my 5 minute drive home. I took those five minutes to pray for my boy.

I prayed out loud. I prayed loud. I cried. I love my boy.

“Dear God,

Thank you for entrusting your sweet little boy to me. Thank you for who I am because you added him to my family. I pray that you continue to teach me how to be his mom. Please, Give me wisdom to know how to be his mother. Help me to recognize the characteristics that you want to raise up in him and help me to nurture them. Please, help me to put aside my own agenda for his life. Help me to love him and see him the way you do. Help me to know the difference between “Worldly Perfection” and “Gods Calling”. Remind me that what I think the right thing to do is not always the thing that God has planned. Give me Patience for him that will last from toddler – teen years and extend until the day I have to let him go.

I pray specifically for his Best friends. For the friends he makes as a child, in elementary school, in high school, in university, and at work. I ask that you build up in him confidence and maturity. I pray that his friends see him as You see him. Please raise up people in his life that walk along side him and build him up. People he can turn to when he cant turn to his father and I. People that turn all his questions towards Jesus. I pray that my son is the type of friend that I am asking for him to have.

Thank you Lord for my sons health. He is strong. He is growing. He is developing at a wonderfully perfect rate. Thank you! Thank You.

Your very blessed daughter

Amen.

 

I could have prayed forever. But I pulled into the drive way and my husband was working in the garage so he came to my drivers side window to say hi. I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes and got out. No questions were asked. He gave me a smile and a hug and helped me unload the groceries. I mentioned to him that I saw a teen and his mom at the store and it made me think of our little lion cub. My husband just smiled and said. “I owe myself five bucks. I knew those tears were happy ones.” Me crying over sentimental moments is a common scenario in our house hold.

Oh well, I would rather be remembered as someone who loves so much that she cries than anything else:)

-lion

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One thought on “Always my Baby

  1. Sarah says:

    Bawling! Happy tears are becoming a daily thing for me whenever I even start to reflect on my children and how thankful I am for them! Great post

    Like

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